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Here are the basics:
Other things to consider: You do not have to meet with anyone. Many times Bishops and Stake Presidents will completely disregard your "no contact" and call you, mail you, or even show up on your doorstep. Any request for meetings should be denied. If the Bishop or Stake President shows up on your doorstep, you can take several actions. You do not have to answer the door. You can politely tell him to please observe the no contact request and to leave immediately. Or, you can do as one Ex-Mormon did and turn the hose on them (an extreme measure and while highly satisfying, is not recommended!) If the Bishop or Stake President contacts or visits you, this can be a very emotional time for you. If you allow them inside your house, you are giving them a level of control over you. Gather your strength together and tell them NO. Ask them to leave. Do not allow them into your homes; do not allow them to set meetings where you have to go to the local Ward or Stake centers. Physically going to meet with the Bishop or Stake President places you in Mormon surroundings again giving them a high level of control over you. It is understandable that some of you have had long standing relationships with Bishops or Stake Presidents. Some may be neighbors or even family. These are difficult situations but you are not alone. Many thousands have gone through the exact same steps you have. Register on the Ex-Mormon Forums and post in the Name Removal/Resignation forum - and get nearly instant help from those who have already resigned. If you are attending an LDS Church owned university including Brigham Young, BYU-Idaho (formally Ricks College) in Rexburg, ID; BYU-Hawaii in Laie, Hawaii; or the LDS Business College in Salt Lake City, UT - you should NOT resign until you have finished school - or - you have transferred to another non LDS school. If you resign/name removal while attending an LDS Church owned college - you will be denied your diploma or a transfer of your credits to another school. The LDS Church has a long history of making it extremely difficult for those who leave the Church to receive their accreditation from any of their colleges. Make sure that you have your transcript and credits transferred first - or - that you have received your diploma (if you are nearing graduation). Once you receive your diploma you are free and clear to have your name removed. Minor children (under the age of 18) cannot legal sign anything. If you have requested on your resignation letter that your children's names are to be removed and the Bishop or Stake President states that your minor children must sign for name removal, do not acquiesce. While minor children can sign documents - and a Bishop or Stake President will demand it, your minor children do NOT have to sign. If they do not sign, however, it could delay the process. You cannot be excommunicated. The current Church Handbook of Instructions states that any "Court Of Love" (LDS Church Courts) must be cancelled upon request for name removal. Prior to 2005, some members were excommunicated without their knowledge rather than having their names removed. After the LDS Church was sued for this - the practice was immediately stopped. If you are threatened with a court of love by your Bishop or Stake President, or if you receive a letter stating you must attend a court of love, contact membership records immediately by phone or by fax demanding your name be removed and that if they hold a court of love, you will sue. If the Mormon Church holds a court and excommunicates you after you have sent your resignation letter, you have legal grounds to sue. Do not let them hold a "Court Of Love" for you - resign now. In 1985 the Mormon Church excommunicated Norman Hancock after his submitted a letter of resignation to the church. Hancock filed an $18 million lawsuit against the church, saying a person has a right to voluntarily resign from a church. The suit was settled out of court and the settlement was sealed. An account on line reports that Hancock filed the suit himself, without the aid of a lawyer, after studying the Guinn case. The same account says that church lawyers started discussing with Hancock just how much money he wanted, but he told them he didn't want their money, that what he wanted was to have his name cleared. Church representatives agreed to change the records such that there would no longer be any record of an excommunication: the records would show that he resigned. The Hancock case shows that the church is willing to settle out of court when someone sues because the church excommunicates them after they've resigned their membership.
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